During a recent visit to New York City I took a step back and thought about something a single friend of mine told me about the city — that although there are many people out and about, it is also one of the loneliest cities.
Who would think that the city that never sleeps would be such a lonely place? But I have to say, as an outsider looking in, I can see that being true. I bet this is pretty on point for most major cities including Philadelphia and even Atlantic City. When there are so many people and so many choices sometimes it can be hard to meet “The One.” Especially in N.Y.C., where you constantly see so many people walking the streets with a sharp focus on wherever they are off to.
No smiling, no inviting body language. Basically hard core, rapid movement to and from destinations.
Even on the A.C. Boardwalk and in the casinos, people are a little more laid back, but still they usually stay to themselves. The amount of people who are single or maybe new to the area and looking for a friend is astonishing. But you would never know. We should realize that people are just people. We tend to navigate towards the ones who are approachable and we are open to meeting people and helping someone out, but we are also afraid of rejection. Even with something as simple as stopping to ask the time or for directions, we get nervous. We wait until we see a person with a smile or someone who is giving us subliminal positive vibes. It’s a comfort factor.
If you take time to stop and smell the roses, as they say, then you are likely to see that there is so much more to life. You can take notice of the people around you and your aura will shine. With a simple smile, you will be amazed at the attention that can get you. Also, look someone in the eye, show them that they exist. With all the negativity that surrounds us in our everyday life, it’s refreshing to know someone else cares enough to smile.
In recent weeks, I talked to many single people from big cities and small towns, who are desperately looking for love, but just seem to be striking out on the dates they are going on. Some of these girls are already in their late 20s early 30s and they feel that it’s inevitable they will be lonely forever. They go to parties, singles mixers, various events, and still have no luck. I asked a few of them about what they are looking for, and depending on how long they have been in the dating game, the answers were varied. A person new to the game is usually very strict on the type of person they are looking for. Answers were very specific with regard to age and looks, both being at the top of the lists. Then there were the people who have been in the dating game for awhile; their answers were more open minded. They just want someone who will love them, who wants to have a serious relationship and who is emotionally supportive. Both types agreed that they like someone who is ambitious, self sufficient, and good hearted.
Sometimes it is difficult to meet potential suitors because we are all different on many levels. However, you could be looking for qualities in someone that they are looking for in you. It is always good to be yourself, but a relationship is based on two people and sometimes you have to compromise your wants for things that you need. Think deeply about what really matters and what is important to your heart and mind. Give someone a second chance, learn about your personality and how to become more approachable. Remember to look someone in the eye and smile.
And most importantly be open minded and open hearted to meeting someone new.
As a freelance writer, Whitney's columns were published in multiple press outlets including: GoJaneNews.com The Atlantic City Weekly New Jersey Lifestyle Magazine & The Boardwalk Journal just to name a few.
She is the former host of the Entertainment Minute which aired on the NBC40 News and was featured twice on FOX's Chasing New Jersey.