While laying low this past weekend and watching some movies, I came across a documentary about dating and relationships. The psychology behind the way people act has always been intriguing to me, especially when it comes to the interaction and intricacies of being part of a relationship.
Lately I’ve been hearing dating horror stories from friends, and although some are quite comical, it’s still sad to know that there are so many single people out there who just can’t seem to find their perfect match. With so many online dating sites at our fingertips, you would think it would be easy to search through profiles to see who best meets our needs and wants. But on the contrary, although the Internet is instant, it is also very impersonal. We don’t know if someone is really like the way they describe, and we don’t know if the picture they posted was from 10 years ago. But we have to take the information for what it’s worth and make our decisions from there.
A big problem, which the doc touches upon, is that we tend to take our experiences from past relationships and use them against the person in our new relationship. Rather than having knowledge, learning from your past and figuring out how to make your future better, we wind up taking out our frustrations and emotional baggage on someone who is starting with a clean slate.
Bottom line: You have to give people a chance.
Another key factor is stereotyping. We tend to say all men do this or all women do that. It’s not true. For instance, unlike a common perception, there are plenty of guys out there who are gentlemen and there are plenty of women who aren’t “high maintenance.” The big problem is that we like to sit around and complain about what’s wrong about the other person, instead of just being the best person we can be.
We also need to look within ourselves and know who we are so we can effectively communicate what we want and need to potential suitors. And remember that you can’t control other people; you can only control what you do and how you act.
A big problem with new relationships, from a woman’s point of view, is the fact that we share a lot of information with our friends. Almost too much, to the point where they start giving their input and opinions as to what’s best for you, and before you know it, you’re doing things that make them happy and not doing things that make you happy. And to that same point, you may complain a lot to your friends about what you’re not getting from your mate, but at the same time you’re not telling the mate your feelings, so they have no idea that you are unhappy.
Meeting someone and taking the proper steps to get to know one another is not always easy. But if you look within yourself and realize your strengths, weaknesses, faults, good traits, etc., then you can move forward in the dating world and hopefully meet the love of your life.
If you are currently dating, make sure you have proper communication so you can learn more about one another.
If you are single, put yourself out there, introduce yourself to someone who catches your eye and, most of all, be open to meeting people who suit your needs and desires rather than just physical attributes.
Best of luck and success in your dating endeavors!
Whitney is an on-air multimedia personality, and works behind the scenes helping businesses gain extra exposure, through her WIN Promotions video production services.