When you were growing up, did your parents ever tell you not to listen to the bully because everything they were saying about you were all insecurities that they had about themselves?
It’s funny how in life as we get older, some things never change. That bully in the schoolyard will be the same bully in a business suit. Isn’t it ironic that there’s the old sticks-and-stones saying that we used to live by, but we know deep down that words really can harm us? Words do make a difference in a person’s life, and that’s why it is always best to think before you speak. Think about how your words can affect someone’s day and how it can affect their conscience in the future.
When you talk about someone and bring them down in front of others, not only are you portraying yourself as a coward, but subconsciously you are devaluing a person’s reputation and at the same time making yourself untrustworthy to those around you. And shame on those who take someone’s word for what they are saying without considering the source.
When I posed this scenario to my friends on Facebook, the responses were pretty much in sync with my thoughts. The cool thing was that the opinions posted were very strong and detailed. I’ve included a few below.
“I think people who need to put other people down constantly, have an even lower view of themselves,” says Briana Granieri. “They badmouth as an equalizer, to try and cut people down to their own level, when in reality they’re just licking the wounds of their own shoddy self-esteem. It’s sad, really.”
So true girl!
“It gets annoying after awhile,” says Todd Liebowitz. “I think if you say something or feel something about a person, you should either tell them to their face or just don’t say anything.”
“Someone who’s constantly badmouthing others is a very unhappy person,” says Winnie Anderson. “They tear down others as a way of building themselves up, but it doesn’t work. They only hurt themselves. If you’ve got a problem, be a grownup and tell the person, but if you’ve got problems with everyone then there’s something wrong with you.”
You tell ’em!
“Momma always said ‘If you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all,’” says Barry Deem. “Some people need to listen to momma!”
Amen to that!
“Just about everyone sees through that kind of person and pretty much ‘ignores politely’ what he/she is saying,” says Joy Flury-Brown. “There’s a saying ‘What you think about is none of my business.’”
“People talk bad about others to make themselves feel better,” says Erica Brooke. “Or also if they’re bored, since they probably have got nothing going on themselves. It’s also often out of jealousy.”
“Anyone who doesn’t have enough going on in their own life that they have to badmouth others are not only insecure, but lonely inside and not really living,” says Ms. Newman.
Straight and to the point!
“Badmouthing is ignorance and jealousy rolled up in one loud, annoying ball,” says Ron Pisnoy. “Just dodge it.”
Good one, Dad!
As you can see, there are common themes of insecurity and jealousy embedded within all of the opinions, and through the fast response to the question I posed, I can see that this has happened to many of us. No one is perfect; we all talk about people here and there in one way or another. But when we go so far as to defame someone’s character or put someone down, it becomes personal and shows that you are not taken seriously, and in fact only hurting yourself. So whether you are being talked to or being talked about, just be yourself, because in the end your true colors will show and people will see the light.
Life is too short to worry about everyone else. Worry about yourself and be the best person that you can be!
Whitney is an on-air multimedia personality, and works behind the scenes helping businesses gain extra exposure, through her WIN Promotions video production services.