As I sat in the car while waiting for my gas tank to fill up, I started looking at the different vehicles passing by. Each one had a different shape, size and style, which got me to thinking about how does one choose the right one for them?
Then I saw a car that was completely wrapped in an advertisement, and the guy driving had his window down with his arm out the window. He seemed really content — almost oblivious to the fact that the whole car stuck out like a sore thumb. It randomly made me think about how we tend to judge people based on what we see on the outside, when we should look at who is on the inside. And it also made me wonder if people view themselves the way others view them.
When I was in college my car was a 1985 Chevy Celebrity station wagon with rust in the roof above the driver’s side. The windows on the right side didn’t work and if the air conditioner and the radio were on at the same time, the car would stall. It was a real junker but it got me from point A to point B and only cost me $300. But the point is that I felt inferior because I didn’t have money, and I thought people would judge me for the car I drove. But time after time I noticed that it really didn’t matter and it was all in my head.
On that same thought, removing the car from the equation, the outside of a person can come in all different shapes, sizes and colors, but unfortunately our first impression will hinder us from getting to know who they are on the inside. When I posed this theory on Facebook, the outpour of responses was amazing.
Adrienne Richardson agrees with me, saying that before you get to know someone all you know is what that person looks like, but we shouldn’t make judgements before we get to know them better. I agree, but often it’s easier said than done. Our intentions are good but we fall back into our ways.
Samantha Schiumo believes that too. She thinks we judge due to severe jealousy that we deny, but it’s a flaw we learn to change through life’s lessons.
James Keefer put it in context when he said that society let’s us know what’s attractive and what’s not. We have become a self absorbed, selfish, judgmental society and we need to change. Jon Leibowitz added that we are trained and conditioned from an early age of what beauty really is. Most people polled felt that if you are attractive then you are worth talking to, but if you are ugly it’s not worth the time. That is so sad to me. A good friend of mine stated that you see the outside of a person immediately, but to see the inside takes time and not everyone wants to invest in that.
How sad is it that as a society the newest, coolest technologies and television shows are the same things that are working against us in some ways. But it’s unfair to blame everything on the media. Our thought processes are a mix of our genes and our environment. Natalie Kraft agrees too and said that much of our judgment is pure “human nature.” She delved into the psychological, and said that it’s a way of identifying “our own tribe members” and being able to recognize “potential danger” in a quick and simple way. But unfortunately we tend to make many incorrect assumptions just to cover up our own insecurities and vulnerabilities. When you think about it, it’s true. Vonnie Clark thinks we are all guilty at one time or another, but at the same time we should be wise enough now to realize all of the great people we missed out on. Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Take time to recognize true beauty and get to know someone. Don’t let their appearance or, even worse, their clothing and accessories deter you from talking to them.
Remember this quote by Ernst Haas — “A picture is the expression of an impression. If the beautiful were not in us, how would we ever recognize it?”
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On Tuesday, June 28, at 5:30pm, the E-Women Network Summer Solstice Health & Business Expo will take place at the Atlantic City Country Club in Northfield. Admission is free, and table rentals are $65 for members and $95 non-members. There are 30 booths available on a first-come, first-serve basis. See ewomennetwork.com/chapter/snj for more details
As a freelance writer, Whitney's columns were published in multiple press outlets including: GoJaneNews.com The Atlantic City Weekly New Jersey Lifestyle Magazine & The Boardwalk Journal just to name a few.
She is the former host of the Entertainment Minute which aired on the NBC40 News and was featured twice on FOX's Chasing New Jersey.